37 weeks

I had issues when I tried to post this. Better late than never, yes?

Eww...don't answer that. I will spare the details, but lets just say "things are happening". At my 36 week appt I was "checked" and there is reason to believe I could go early. She told me that past patients in my situation have gone into labor right away, and some have made it until their due date. So I guess we will see what she says at my appointment this Thursday. I've had a hunch for a couple months now that I wouldn't make it to my due date. Maybe because of all the braxton hicks I've had. And I know this really has nothing to do with it, but this baby is soooo squirmy that I feel like she is just ready. In some ways I'm excited to think I may not have 3 more weeks of heart palpitations, incredible hot flashes, becoming winded every time I climb stairs, talking without being able to breath, sleepless hours in the middle of the night (with no baby to hold or feed that is), etc. On the other hand, I want my mommy here!! She has a bag packed all ready to go so if I do go early she will try to catch the next flight out. (We made sure she got a refundable/changeable ticket) She actually thought she had to tell me the other day to make sure I call her when I go into labor, even if it's in the middle of the night. Der.

I have my bag packed also. I tried to pack "a" going home outfit for baby, but I ended up with 6. And probably ten bows. Is it too early to start playing dress up at the hospital? :)

During these last 9 months I have thought a lot about how much our world is going to change. Every time Kyle and I go on a date I try to relish every moment and take advantage of all the time on our hands. We have been particular spontaneous lately, going to movies during the week and doing other fun things here and there. I think it's really starting to hit us that this time we have together will soon never be the same. Monday night we used a gift card we had and went to this really nice theater in Sandy. It's called the VIP theater, complete with a VIP lounge where you can hang out before the movie starts. We went early for that purpose, and watched the beginning of the Jazz game. Servers come around and take your order. They had everything from popcorn to fish, burgers, and gourmet cupcakes. You can also order once you're in the actual theater, and they come around before the movie starts to refill your drinks and stuff. There are different seats to choose from. They had recliners and they had seats that move along with the movie so you feel like you're on an amusement park ride. We sat in what is considered a booth, but it was basically a big comfy leather couch. While it isn't a theater we will probably ever go back to and pay for (again, we had a gift card) it is something I would recommend doing at least once just for fun, especially if you are preggo! Movies have been getting harder for me to sit through. I told Kyle last night as we were leaving, that as great as that couch was, I was STILL uncomfortable. Probably the last movie for this pregnant girl. But it was so much fun.

36 weeks/Jillian

Everyone keeps pointing out how close I am but 4 weeks feels like FOREVER. I'm afraid time is especially going to drag now that I've lost my buddy Jillian to keep me company. Her aunt is here from Florida to take over, and while it will probably be for the best to take it easy and do less lifting, etc., I am really sad. Yesterday was my last "official" day with her (I'm watching her for a few days in April) and when Kyle got home from work he asked how I was doing. I was too choked up to say anything, but I think the tears streaming down my face gave my answer. My heart melted when he assured me, "I'm sad too." I really love that guy.

And in case I haven't made this clear, we love HER.

Jillian has been a little ray of sunshine in our lives these last 7 months. She has the most contagious smile and laugh. The poor thing suffered terrible reflux when she was smaller, but is now one of the happiest babies I know. She only fusses for us when she's really tired, or when Kyle walks out of the room. (Really. Like, every time.) It's hard to believe that she was a tiny 6 week old when I started watching her. I'm also really going to miss her mommy, I am used to her company as well. Sometimes she would stay for an hour or so in the afternoon just chatting with me. I'm glad we are such good friends and will continue to see them lots. We are already planning craft days and pool parties this summer and I can't WAIT! That baby is not allowed to forget me.

And on a random note....

Need some motivation to clean your entire kitchen floor to ceiling? Try dropping a full gallon of milk on the floor.

:)

33 weeks!

Tomorrow that is. I love Wednesdays because it's when I can say I am another week further. I wonder if Wednesdays will ever be a normal day to me again, or if I will always think of my pregnancy. I hate that no matter how big I try to smile for these stupid pictures, it looks so fake and I look like I haven't slept in days.

Today in church I was thinking about some of the ways my body has changed. Other than my protruding belly of course, the biggest one is probably that I am ALWAYS hot. And not sexy hot. (Obviously.) This is a weird, weird thing in our household because I used to always be cold while Kyle was sweating to death. Nowadays, I'm the one turning on fans or turning the heat down (or off). In church I used to wear several layers of clothing, place my coat over my legs and Kyle's jacket around my shoulders and STILL be cold. I wore short sleeves on Sunday and was still sweating while Kyle stayed in his sweater the whole time. I kept asking him, "NOW are you warm?" because I swear someone kept turning the thermostat up. He just kept shaking his head at me. Weird. This will be the only time you see me in the winter without a coat, and without nylons on at church. Which is not a pretty sight by the way, as Kyle kindly pointed out how white my legs were. I would feel better if my toe nails looked halfway decent but the hour I spent trying to paint them the day before only resulted in me wanting to poke my eyeballs out. Kyle and I both love a good ol' fashioned back scratch and for some reason they always feel the best during church. Throughout the last couple years, Kyle and I have had several bets where the loser has to scratch the winner's back in church. One time I lost a big one, and I owed him 4 back scratches that were 15 minutes long. Slowly but surely I paid my dues, but I haven't been willing to risk losing again since then. Anyway, my point to this is how things have changed because on Sunday during sacrament meeting I offered to scratch his back for a few minutes and in return asked for him to fan me!

I asked Kyle how I have changed in other ways and the first thing he said was "You cry a lot more." This is very true. I hate that some days I absolutely can't control the way I feel. Like Saturday. We had a fun date planned, we were going to go to the Oquirrh Mountain temple and then to dinner and a movie in Salt Lake. But I haven't been feeling good (I've had heart palpitations for several weeks that leave me feeling tired and sick and they have been getting worse lately) and Saturday was a bad day. On top of already feeling crappy, I was ultra emotional. It was frustrating because Kyle (who is always happy) was trying hard to cheer me up and I really wanted to be in a good mood and go on a fun date, but instead I just cried and cried until finally we decided just to stay home.

On the other hand, I'm a lot more giggly than normal. If something strikes me as really funny, I will laugh about it for hours. And it's the kind of laugh that is uncontrollable. My sister told me when we were home for Christmas that every time I would start to laugh, I'd get this panicked look on my face like I was afraid once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. Back in December at a Christmas dinner for the women at church, they had a dance company come and provide the entertainment. There was a particular dance that had me about rolling on the floor. There was an adorable, short, chubby little 3 year old who had no idea what was going on but she was dancing her little heart out, following the steps of her teacher who was hiding behind the curtain. Her head was tilted sideways, her eyes never leaving her teacher, and she was about 4 steps behind the other girls. Cutest and funniest thing I have ever seen. Ever. I'm sure others found it funny as well, but the little girl needn't be embarrassed that night because the spotlight was definitely on me. I had tears rolling down my cheeks and was giggling so hard that everyone was watching me more than the dancers. Kyle just asked me what was so funny....I'm laughing now just thinking about it.

I'm sure there's lots more I'm not thinking of at the moment. One thing that has been hard for me is seeing what used to be at least a little muscle all turn to flab. I go to the mall once in a while to walk around but I never make it very far. My cousin Jenn comes with me sometimes and we usually just end up eating ice cream instead. I used to work out for about an hour every day, and now I get winded just going up a flight of stairs. Like, really winded.....

Oh, and cold sores. I've gone my whole life without having a single one, including the last 3 1/2 years I've even been kissing Kyle with his. Right now I have my second one since being pregnant that I got entirely on my own. I don't think he's even had one in the last 8 months.

Oh, the joys. :)

Nursery pictures!

We still have a few things to add, like cushions on the chair, a changing pad and cover, crib mattress pad, etc. But for the most part the nursery is done, and the closet literally can't hold any more clothes! Can you believe all of the clothes in this picture, both hanging and in the drawers, are just Newborn-3 months??!! And can you believe this....not one of them was bought by me!! (I have, however, gotten a couple dresses and sleepers in a larger size, which are stuffed away in that gray tote.) I'm really hoping she's small enough that she'll actually get to wear her newborn clothes. I may just have to play lots of dress up with her the first few weeks of her life so that I can see her in everything!

A big thanks to my friends and sister-in-law that have given us lots (and LOTS) of adorable hand-me-downs. And to everyone that is already showering her with new things. I think it's safe to say our little Bentlee is going to be one SPOILED baby. If you can't tell by the nursery, we love her already and are getting so anxious for her arrival!

The theme for the room was inspired by the blanket that is over the crib. I found it at the mall back when I was only a couple months pregnant and I decided then and there that I wanted a giraffe print theme. I had the idea for the wall, but my super talented sister-in-law Amber helped me carry it out and I definitely couldn't have done it without her. It actually ended up being a lot easier than we thought, and so much fun. Kyle painted the whole room light yellow and in the meantime I found a giraffe print I liked online and had a transparency made. We rented a projecter from the library (who knew?) and projected it on the wall, and Amber and I traced and painted! It was her idea to do Bentlee's name in vinyl lettering, and Kyle even picked the font. Cute, or cute?

I copied my friend Lindsey's bow holder idea. She used a large, really cute vintage looking frame and after searching several places for a similar one with no luck, I finally settled on these frames that I had just sitting in my closet. Almost ALL of the bows in this picture were made by one of my friends in California. I can't tell her enough how much I love them. I may need to get some more frames....

Did I mention our baby is SPOILED??

30 weeks!!

I suppose I should spice it up and wear a little color for some of these pictures, but since I took the first couple wearing black I feel the need to do them all that way. And it helps that it's supposed to be a more flattering color. Not sure it still works when you're pregnant, but I tell myself that.

I was excited about the 30 week mark until I had a dream the other night that she was born. Then I woke up. I just layed there and thought..........TEN. Ten more WEEKS?! Suddenly it seems like a lot when I think of it as 1/4 of my pregnancy. Especially since the first month didn't really count. Or when I think of how uncomfortable I already am. I know I know, it's only going to get worse. Everyone assures me of that, and I believe them. I'm either a baby, or my back is worse than most, because tonight we went to our first prenatal class where I was the least furthest along (everyone else was around 34 weeks and up) and I felt like I was the only one squirming. I can't sit still for more than a few minutes. Church has been especially hard for me lately because I'm pretty sure they keep the thermostat at 90 degrees. I've had to leave early the last two weeks to keep from passing out.

Okay enough complaining. I really am getting so excited, especially after the class tonight! She went over a lot of simple things, like terminology I already know, and things my doctor has told me. But there were definitely some good things to be reminded of, and a lot of new information as well, such as hospital procedures, etc. It was really interesting to me and I'm excited to go again next week. Definitely scared me a little too though. I could have gone without seeing the epidural needle and the forceps-some things are better left to the imagination. But for the most part, it just made me want to have this baby tonight! I can't want to hold her, and to watch Kyle hold her, and to see what she looks like! There were a few times during the class that I actually started tearing up. Luckily my allergies are sort of acting up, so hopefully nobody knew the difference. I'm so excited to share that day with Kyle and to meet our baby for the first time. He was cracking me up tonight. The last few months I've been getting these uncontrollable giggles where I can't stop laughing, and I had to tell him to stop making comments under his breath in class because I was afraid I was going to lose it. The very first thing the nurse did was pull out a fake placenta. Kyle, who I knew had to be holding in a chuckle, leaned in and whispered, "I think I'm too immature for this". I nodded and replied, "I think you are too." I had just been thinking the very same thing. But I thought I was the mature one, and then even I had to hold back a snicker several times during the class. Kyle is nervous for next week because we are watching "the" video. He told me a few different times tonight that he really doesn't know if he can "do it". He was dead serious. I told him nicely that he would, and that I didn't feel the slightest bit sorry for him. :)

When we got home I asked whether the class made him more excited or just nervous. His response was, "I'm not nervous, I just realized it's not very.....(long pause...I was already nodding, expecting the next word to be "easy").....pretty." As my jaw is dropping he quickly adds, "And it seems a little scary." Hmmm.

I love love love my husband. But thank GOODNESS for my mother and mother-in-law who are not allowed to leave my side that day, because it's very possible Kyle will be passed out on the floor!

Jillian

This cute little baby steals more and more pieces of our hearts every day. I say "our" because even though Kyle mainly just sees her on his lunch breaks, he loves her as much as I do. She is so much fun. She gets so excited to see people-when she gets here in the morning and when Whitney picks her up she does this dog-like pant, like she's so excited she can hardly stand it. She has two adorable teeth and is eating baby food now! She's getting bigger and more independent, yet she's still cuddly and sweeter than ever. She is often content to play on the floor with toys, but she also loves to be held. I take advantage of her sleepy time and rock and cuddle her for a few minutes before I lay her down. There is something so precious about a baby snuggling into your arms. I can't get enough of it! She falls asleep almost on her own now-she just needs a hand to hold, which is just about the sweetest thing in the world. She literally grabs my hand and holds it as tight as she can against her chest and won't let it let go until she's asleep and unaware that I've pulled it away.

She ADORES Kyle, to the point where it's a little obnoxious because she can go from fussy to grinning as soon as she spots him. When he's at home, her eyes never leave him. Kyle walked in today just seconds after I started feeding her her bottle which she started chugging as if she hadn't eaten in days, and suddenly she wanted nothing to do with it. Just wanted to look at him. Not that I can blame her, he's pretty cute. And I guess he is more fun. Today he gave her a disposable tin pan to play with. I would have never thought, "Hey this looks like a fun toy for a 6 month old!" But sure enough, she LOVED it. And I was the mean one who took it away after a few minutes, afraid she would start snacking on it.

All of these pictures are from my phone, hence the quality....




Kyle can't stand to hear Jillian cry. The second she starts to fuss he is there to rescue her. And he's always disappointed to find her sleeping when he comes home, or to find that she has already left when he comes home from work. The other day she woke up from a nap while he was here, but she hadn't slept for very long so I tried putting her back to sleep. I could tell it was killing him, and it made me feel bad enough that I almost gave in and let him get her. But then we noticed she pulled the blanket over her head, and when I went to pull it off, she spotted Kyle and at that point I knew there was no hope. She was wide awake and they were both happy. He is going to be SUCH a great daddy. It melts my heart to watch him with her. Can't wait to see him with his own baby girl!