Tomorrow that is. I love Wednesdays because it's when I can say I am another week further. I wonder if Wednesdays will ever be a normal day to me again, or if I will always think of my pregnancy. I hate that no matter how big I try to smile for these stupid pictures, it looks so fake and I look like I haven't slept in days.
Today in church I was thinking about some of the ways my body has changed. Other than my protruding belly of course, the biggest one is probably that I am ALWAYS hot. And not sexy hot. (Obviously.) This is a weird, weird thing in our household because I used to always be cold while Kyle was sweating to death. Nowadays, I'm the one turning on fans or turning the heat down (or off). In church I used to wear several layers of clothing, place my coat over my legs and Kyle's jacket around my shoulders and STILL be cold. I wore short sleeves on Sunday and was still sweating while Kyle stayed in his sweater the whole time. I kept asking him, "NOW are you warm?" because I swear someone kept turning the thermostat up. He just kept shaking his head at me. Weird. This will be the only time you see me in the winter without a coat, and without nylons on at church. Which is not a pretty sight by the way, as Kyle kindly pointed out how white my legs were. I would feel better if my toe nails looked halfway decent but the hour I spent trying to paint them the day before only resulted in me wanting to poke my eyeballs out. Kyle and I both love a good ol' fashioned back scratch and for some reason they always feel the best during church. Throughout the last couple years, Kyle and I have had several bets where the loser has to scratch the winner's back in church. One time I lost a big one, and I owed him 4 back scratches that were 15 minutes long. Slowly but surely I paid my dues, but I haven't been willing to risk losing again since then. Anyway, my point to this is how things have changed because on Sunday during sacrament meeting I offered to scratch his back for a few minutes and in return asked for him to fan me!
I asked Kyle how I have changed in other ways and the first thing he said was "You cry a lot more." This is very true. I hate that some days I absolutely can't control the way I feel. Like Saturday. We had a fun date planned, we were going to go to the Oquirrh Mountain temple and then to dinner and a movie in Salt Lake. But I haven't been feeling good (I've had heart palpitations for several weeks that leave me feeling tired and sick and they have been getting worse lately) and Saturday was a bad day. On top of already feeling crappy, I was ultra emotional. It was frustrating because Kyle (who is always happy) was trying hard to cheer me up and I really wanted to be in a good mood and go on a fun date, but instead I just cried and cried until finally we decided just to stay home.
On the other hand, I'm a lot more giggly than normal. If something strikes me as really funny, I will laugh about it for hours. And it's the kind of laugh that is uncontrollable. My sister told me when we were home for Christmas that every time I would start to laugh, I'd get this panicked look on my face like I was afraid once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. Back in December at a Christmas dinner for the women at church, they had a dance company come and provide the entertainment. There was a particular dance that had me about rolling on the floor. There was an adorable, short, chubby little 3 year old who had no idea what was going on but she was dancing her little heart out, following the steps of her teacher who was hiding behind the curtain. Her head was tilted sideways, her eyes never leaving her teacher, and she was about 4 steps behind the other girls. Cutest and funniest thing I have ever seen. Ever. I'm sure others found it funny as well, but the little girl needn't be embarrassed that night because the spotlight was definitely on me. I had tears rolling down my cheeks and was giggling so hard that everyone was watching me more than the dancers. Kyle just asked me what was so funny....I'm laughing now just thinking about it.
I'm sure there's lots more I'm not thinking of at the moment. One thing that has been hard for me is seeing what used to be at least a little muscle all turn to flab. I go to the mall once in a while to walk around but I never make it very far. My cousin Jenn comes with me sometimes and we usually just end up eating ice cream instead. I used to work out for about an hour every day, and now I get winded just going up a flight of stairs. Like, really winded.....
Oh, and cold sores. I've gone my whole life without having a single one, including the last 3 1/2 years I've even been kissing Kyle with his. Right now I have my second one since being pregnant that I got entirely on my own. I don't think he's even had one in the last 8 months.
Oh, the joys. :)
You're beautiful! Gassers were over Sunday, and Lennea asked about you, so I just showed her your last picture!
ReplyDeleteI remember being warm. It's like you're carrying a little furnace in your belly.
Ahhh, remembering all the "joys" definitely doesn't make me long for pregnancy anytime soon. That is, until I see your picture. You are so stinking cute, and that belly is so adorable! It almost makes me want one again!!! I do think it's funny how giggly and emotional you have been. I'm not even around you on a daily basis, and I have noticed these things. At least the giggles help make all the crying up to your husband!
ReplyDeleteI remember being extremely warm. But I also went thru the second half of my pregnancy in the summer and early fall. Swimming never felt so good!
ReplyDeleteHaha oh the joys! I almost DIED each week at church. If I made it the whole 3 hours I was overly impressed. I almost passed out each week. As for the emotional part... oh buddy. I remember sobbing for hours because Josh dropped a pan of scotcharoos I'd made and had been craving while he was cutting them up... in a pyrex pan that shattered. He had to stop me because I was trying to pick out the glass in order to eat them! I was heartbroken! It'll get better soon and she will be here before you know it! :)
ReplyDeleteYou look so good, True that you do look a little tired, but still Gorgeous!!
ReplyDeleteKristen, I love the way you write... You are such a delight, do you know that??!! And you do NOT look fake or even tired, although you certainly have a good excuse to be tired. You look genuinely excited :) Oh my goodness, I remember the "joys" of pregnancy... I'm with Stephanie, not ready for that any time soon! I was always really warm too - I would turn on the A/C at night so it got more cold, and Troy always joked about it feeling like a freezer box in our bed. It cracked me up when you talked about getting ice cream when you try to go for a walk - I was so the same way! We got ice cream a lot more than normal when I was pregnant. That was the nice thing about being pregnant; I'm not sure that Troy ever told me "no" when I wanted something :) And I feel ya about painting your toes... you feel like you can't breathe with your belly in front of you! It doesn't get better though - now I just don't have time to make my toes look pretty. I can't believe you're so close honey... Enjoy your time with Kyle while it's still just the two of you!!
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